THE POSTUM PAPERS: In Which The Comic Supplements of America Spread Blatant Misinformation About Caffeinated Beverages (With Top Hats and Jet Packs)

  Today, in this Starbucks age, it seems odd that anyone would ever ask for a coffee substitute--especially one with no caffeine. Yet, during the era when bowel movements mattered a little too much to people, a drink was sold that claimed to wake you up and clear you out by the name of Postum. It was sold by the Post company since 1895. It was moist, bubbly concoction, made out of grains.

The Johnstone and Cushing ad agency rose to prominence in the 1930s, essentially making commercials for the comics page. Below is a good example of their work:

(From Hogan's Alley.)

The advertising strips, the concept of which will be detailed in another post, either had a set of one-shot characters, like the strip above, or a single character or mascot for the product. An early example of this was Little Alby, a loquacious, frenetic, ultra-strong little character who was addicted to Post Cereal's Grape-Nuts Flakes, a fearsome cereal mostly encountered today as an ice cream topping. They're as hard as rocks and taste like malt. But Little Alby actually managed to move the product; which was dropping in sales at the time. While riding astride a passenger airplane, Alby exclaimed "I am certain I saw an attendant place a container of my beloved GRAPE-NUTS FLAKES aboard this elegant transport plane." He then enters the plane, like a reverse D.B. Cooper, foils a robbery, and gets two big bowls of the flakes as a reward.

(Ibid.)

    Post was pleased with Alby's effect on their sales, and so Post became the First Friend of Johnstone and Cushing. A new series was commissioned for Post's long game to gaslight the American People into seeing caffeine as a wicked, dangerous drug. They had been doing so for years in their Postum advertisements, using vague claims to prove that Postum made one nervous and irritable. 

(The Atlantic.)

    And thus was the stage set for our greatest forgotten Camp Icon, Mr. Coffee Nerves. Clad originally in the garb of the old melodrama villains that were being parodied at the time, Mr. C-N was a dangerous, parasitic ghost who goaded his victims into becoming rude, tiresome, unintelligent boors. Coffee Nerves were a major part of the gaslighting campaign, being a made-up disease that made one cross and irritable. Oddly enough, it is caffeine withdrawal that can make one act funny, so Postum may have made things worse.

    At any rate, the campaign was started in the mid 1930s by conventional artists, but it was then given over to two of the best buddies in cartooning: Noel Sickles and Milton Caniff. These two had a pair of successful adventure strips that they worked on together. Sickles' name went on Scorchy Smith, Caniff's on Terry and the Pirates. They also worked for Johnstone and Cushing, who paid better for the syndicates.

Sickles and Caniff turned the ad series into a stylish, almost cinematic thesis of the points they were putting into their own comic. They signed the strip with their middle names: Paul Arthur. ("Arthur" would also do at least one ad for Baker's Coconut Mix. Look at "Arthur's" stylish use of silhouette on this sporty potboiler, Dad Gives A Good Tip:

From the OSU's Billy Ireland Library

But perhaps the golden example is this; aimed specifically at young women to tell them that Postum would possibly land them a hot and rich Lad:

(Ibid.)

The plot of nearly every episode of Mr. Coffee Nerves is basically this, with characters from all walks of life:

1. Coffee Drinker makes ass of themselves as Mr. Coffee Nerves goads them to make an ass of themselves.

2. Loved one in Coffee Drinker's life encourages them to try Postum. Mr. Coffee Nerves gets nervous.

3. Coffee Drinker reluctantly decides to try Postum. Mr. Coffee Nerves exits stage right, often saying "CURSES!"

4. All of Coffee Drinker's problems are solved. America can wake up and live again.

Their artistry was unparalleled at Johnstone and Cushing, especially for work done in the dead of night. Of course, the pair would later attribute their success with a nocturnal schedule to the devil's own bean juice. Caniff said he "would have rather drank the ink" then Postum.

The ads were successful, but eventually Mr. C-N was given to other artists as the duo's workload increased. The strips were similar in tone, though with Mr. C-N mocking more than goading his victims. Said victims were also less reluctant to try Postum. The art style was still impressive, but could get a little more clumsy, and Mr. C-N became a looser character who mocked and leered at his victims with cartoonish gesture. Also, they made him into a costumed supervillain, wearing either a ski mask or a jester's hat and a Jet Pack:

(Lileks.com)

From Traffic Accidents up 20%; possibly the magazine version. (Lileks.com)

From Divorces up 25%; notice that the child in the last panel seems to have, as Walt Kelly would say, "cotched the Cold Robbies." (ibid.)

This lasted until a little after the big bang of the decaf era in the late forties. Today, Mr. Coffee Nerves remains a shining example of Camp in those early, wildly inaccurate advertisements, a relic of a decades-long gaslighting campaign, and, in some ways, an essential piece of Americana. You can find Postum if you are living or vacationing in the lovely land of Utah; or possibly the Vermont Country Store. Otherwise, Mr. Coffee Nerves shall continue his grim/nonexistent reign over you.

SOURCES

DRAWING POWER VOL. 1, comp. Rick Marshall, 2011.

THE SMITHSONIAN COLLECTION OF NEWSPAPER COMICS. Comp. Blackbeard, Bill, and Williams, Martin. Fwd. by Canaday, John. Smithsonian Institution Press/Harry Abrams Inc. 1987.

The Archives of the Billy Ireland Library. (with article by Catlin McGurk, 2012.)

"Cereal Eats: Grape Nuts, Neither a Grape or a Nut--Discuss." aut. Palmero, Leandra, for Serious Eats.com. 2011-18.

"The Devious Ad Campaign that Convinced America Coffee Was Bad For Kids," aut. Weissman, Jordan for The Atlantic, 2013.

"Funny Business: The Rise and Fall of Johnstone and Cushing," aut. Heintjes, Tom, for Hogan's Alley Magazine. pub. 2020.

"Mr. Coffee Nerves," aut. Lockfeer, Wim, for The Ephemerist. 2008.

The Mr. Coffee Nerves Archives at Lileks.com